It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime is a direct influence of the increase in violence in media. To what extent do you agree with the above statement?

It is argued that nowadays youngsters are consuming vast information from
media
such
a cinema, television,
media
and most important social-
media
. I totally agree with the statement as the violent content display in
media
make the teenager more offender.
This
essay will explore different role play by
media
to exacerbating the problem in juvenile crime. To being with,the
media
promote illegal and offensive
activities
. these day many movies, TV series, Web Servies celebrate law-breakers and they portray criminal
activities
as an
Correct the article-noun agreement
adventure

The indefinite article an may not be required with the plural noun adventures in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

show examples
adventures
and fun.
As a result
, it
Change the verb form
encourages

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb encourage are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

show examples
encourage
the kids to break the law and get involved in illegal
activities
. Recently, there was news of 4 young boys were performing
Add an article
a
the

The noun phrase stunt seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
s
tunt in moving train to record the video of the activity and share it on social
media
.Henceforth, other kids
also
started to emulate them and soon became a social trend on social
media
.
In addition
to
this
, the
media
is not censored self-content. Videos and news of killing and attacking or other
activities
, which can be diverting effect on kids mentality and presented without any thought.
As a result
, teenagers are more psychologically affected by
such
content and get more prone to aggressive behaviour. As an example, in a recent video showing a boy killed his girlfriend for refusing to marry him. In conclusion,
Media
is promoting aggressive behaviour through television, cinema, songs and various other ways. If
this
tends is not reduced and corrected in time, it will have many negative effects on society for a long-term

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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