IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The only way to prevent overcrowding in cities is to prevent migration from rural areas. Do you agree or disagree?

#cities #migration #areas
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 move to metropolitan cities to get better facilities,
such
Linking Words
 as education, employment, and medical
services
Use synonyms
 etcetera. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the only way to reduce the overpopulation from cities is to prevent
people
Use synonyms
, who are come from
c
Add an article
the
show examples
ountryside. In my point of view,
this
Linking Words
 is not an appropriate solution to mitigate
this
Linking Words
 problem. To commence with, there are some reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 have migrated to urban areas at the top of
that is
Linking Words
 adequate facilities. To be precise, in the urban sectors there is a wide range of resources are available, which made our ways of living susceptible,
such
Linking Words
 as good education, variety of occupations and a proper health premises. To epitome, these
services
Use synonyms
 are limited in villages, so
people
Use synonyms
 left their homes to search for a better way of living;
as a result
Linking Words
, they prefer to settle in a well-developed division.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some possible measures to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue. The
first
Linking Words
 and foremost one is the government should provide appropriate health
services
Use synonyms
, so in an emergency,
people
Use synonyms
 do not face any hitches.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, good education and employment are
also
Linking Words
 the biggest reason for migration. The government should chalk out a plan and implement industrialisation in villages;
as a result
Linking Words
, It will increase the job opportunities for wage earners. If the administration implemented these all
services
Use synonyms
, there will be no reasons for villagers to leave their place. To conclude, stopping migration does not seem to be a viable solution to reduce the imbalance in population density. Educating individuals and initiating trade and commerce in rural areas can be an acceptable solution.
Submitted by Gagan Bhamra on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: