IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

in many countries, people are moving away from rural areas towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can it cause?

#countries #people #areas
Rural-to-urban migration has been a socio-demographic trend since the dawn of urbanization. There are a number of driving forces to
this
 trend, as well as potential problems it presents. Perhaps, the predominant reason stemming from
this
 is the notion that big cities offer big opportunities for employment and business prospects. After all, urban areas are the main zone for industrial activities,
thus
 achieving job and entrepreneur endeavour is highly likely.
Secondly
, the majority of
people
 surmise that lifestyle in rustic areas is primitive and boring as opposed to what is seen on media. Truly, social media is deluged with photographs and news depicting the advancements of life in cities
such
 as having grand shopping centres, luxurious facilities and amenities luring young rustic dwellers to abandon oldfangled ways of living.
Lastly
, Social infrastructures,
such
 as hospitals, universities and other social services are highly available in big cities,
thus
people
 migrate to seize these benefits. Turning to the problems, probably the worst one would have to be the disproportionate number of elderly left behind to tend themselves. With the decline of younger
people
 in rural communities, tedious and laborious jobs are carried out by them.
For instance
, it is a common sight to see construction workers on their past prime years employed in
this
 industry as opposed to younger ones in the metropolis.
Secondly
, The burgeoning rate of rural migrants is taking a toll on the limited social infrastructure services of the city.
Thus
, housing and traffic crises are daily dealt
Verify preposition usage
with
show examples
by urban dwellers and so are their quality of living. To recapitulate, the disproportionate number of
people
 leaving the
ountryside
Correct your spelling
countryside
 for city life is fueled with the perceived social and economic benefits that can be derived from the latter,
however
, social structure and rural townsfolk are suffering owing to
this
 unresolved trend.
Submitted by titanesh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: