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Band 4

Despite a variety of sports facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

#variety #sports #facilities #gyms #people
These days many sports complexes are established but
people
 are not as fit as they used to be back in days. There has been a considerable
amount
 of fitness
launges
Correct your spelling
lounges
launches
 being built to push
people
 into adopting sports as a culture considering a poor fitness level of
g
Add an article
the
show examples
eneral public. In
this
 essay
Add a comma
,
show examples
we will discuss the prime reasons for
this
 problem and the steps that can be taken to enhance overall
health
.
Firstly
, a large contribution
of
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 the deterioration of general
health
 of
p
Add an article
the
show examples
ublic should be given to increase in the intake of
inhealthy
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
 eating habit. Intake of
l
Change the article
a
show examples
arge
amount
 of junk food poses a considerable
amount
 of risk to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
health
.
For example
, a recent survey conducted by world
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
 organisation stated that consumption of
c
Add an article
a
the
show examples
onsiderable
amount
 of chips, fries and burgers has been found to be the cause of type-2 diabetes.
Therefore
, it is important to adopt a healthy eating habit to keep
such
 medical problems at bay.
Moreover
,
s
Add an article
a
show examples
edentary lifestyle is found to be yet, another reason for not being in a good shape. Due to advancement of technology,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
convenience has been added to the living style of
people
 which restrains much physical activity.
Such
 as, one can switch on
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
television without putting an effort to lift our buttock in reaching out to the gadget.
This
 has made
people
 less active and flexible inviting many
health
 problems.
However
, there are several ways that the tables can be turned. We can pledge as an individual to not fall prey to tempting
fastfoods
Correct your spelling
fast foods
 rather
chosing
Correct your spelling
choosing
 healthier alternatives.
Additionally
, one can
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in a gym membership to add a physical routine to one's daily activities.
Furthermore
, we can replace cars with bicycles where possible.
Such
 habits can certainly help us to be more fit and healthy in near future.
Submitted by shubhamkaushik1711 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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