IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed However some people think that zoos are useful for protecting rare animals Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #zoos #animals
While some believe that
zoos
 play an indispensable role in protecting wild
animals
, others argue that keeping these
animals
 in
such
 a simulated habitat is harmful to them. From my point of view,
although
 some drawbacks could be seen, they are overshadowed by the benefits. On the one hand, critics of
zoos
 may have their justifications.
First
,
animals
 are isolated from their natural habitats and confined in a limited space. Even the artificial environment cannot come close to matching the space, diversity, and freedom that
animals
 can have in their natural habitats.
In addition
, these
animals
 sometimes could be trained for entertaining purposes. Some authorities would argue that they do not abuse them and their actions aim to raise the fund in order to improve the quality of these
animals
.
However
, all these things can make captive
animals
 suffer from physical and mental illnesses, which is related to their shorter life expectancy in comparison with their wild counterparts.
Nevertheless
, these opponents might ignore the essential role of safari parks in wildlife protection.
First
, most
animals
 in these places are on the brink of extinction.
This
 is due to the increase in illegal trading or other threats
such
 as habitat destruction or their predators.
Moreover
, one of the most important functions of safari parks is to promote international breeding programs. Evidently, in the wildlife environment, some of the rarest species have difficulty in finding mates and breeding.
Therefore
, by using modern medical technology,
zoos
 can ensure both the birth rate and the immature survival rate of these
animals
. In conclusion,
although
 there may be some drawbacks
such
 as making
animals
 feel pain or stress,
zoos
 have significant impacts on the conservation of animal species.
Therefore
, they should not be closed down.
Submitted by dinhvyhanh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
What to do next:
Look at other essays: