Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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There is a free flow of information which is accessed and exchanged significantly in the boom of

Temporary

Correct article usage

the Temporary

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Technological age.

While

Linking Words

it is true that

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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can easily take

advantages

Fix the agreement mistake

advantage

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of its convenience and high speed, I strongly believe that there are still some hidden risks that people should

concern

Wrong verb form

be concerned

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Change preposition

about.

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To begin

Linking Words

with, offensive information including pornography

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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not strictly regulated by the government,

can

Correct word choice

and can

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easily spread without age-restricted. Teenagers who are usually inquisitive about the world around them can be wrongly educated by

this

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negative knowledge.

For example

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, there are a huge amount of unillegal sexual websites which are omnipresent on the Internet,

attract

Wrong verb form

attracting

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thousands of young adult users annually.

Moreover

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, untruth news about politics and economics can make teenagers become

criminal

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criminals

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. Another point is

this

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technological advancement has no strict legislation,

can

Correct word choice

and can

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pose a threat to the private data of users. With the freedom

Change preposition

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social networking

site

Fix the agreement mistake

sites

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, any private ones may be easily known by a vast amount of strangers.

Let

Add a missing verb

Let's

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take a piece of news that happened in America as an example.

This

Linking Words

report could be read by millions of people at the same time around the world immediately just some minutes later. Admittedly, they could face health problems if

the

Correct your spelling

they

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overuse its usefulness.

For instance

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, spending too much time on computers would harm both mental and physical health and increase the risks of some diseases like obesity, diabetes, short-sightedness and depression.

To sum up

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although

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I believe modern technology is very beneficial, it has some aspects that people should take into account and remedy its problems.

phuonglanWed Jan 20 2021

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Task Achievement

Your essay is not well-organized and lacks clarity in presenting ideas. Ensure that you address the question directly and develop your main points with relevant examples.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this case ? do you think this is a positive or a negative development ?

Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to elderly, while others think that people should save money for their future life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.