You have seen an advertisiment in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look for their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parnets. In your letter -Explain why you would like the job -Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ -Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

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Dear Sir/ Madam, I am writing

this

letter regarding an advertisement placed to employ a candidate to live and take care of a six-year-old child for six months. My name is Ramanpreet and I am currently living in Canada. I love to spend time with children as it gives me a sense of tranquillity.

Besides

, infants become comfortable with me easily. I would be a suitable person to employ for

this

position.

Firstly

, I have completed my studies in Early Childhood Education and back home I have worked as a Nurse

also

Secondly

, I have deep knowledge of all the medicines and vaccination requirements for a child. I have worked with many families to take care of their loved ones. It's a great opportunity to see various places in Australia as it would be my first time visiting. I have decided to see Yaara Valley and Whitehaven Beach which are the prettiest places over there. I am looking forward to seeing a prompt reply from your side. Yours faithfully, Ramanpreet

Submitted by rk2061292 on Fri Nov 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea for improved coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Consider adding a brief personal touch or anecdote to further illustrate your interest in the job.

greeting and closing

Your letter begins and ends politely, maintaining a respectful tone throughout.

task achievement

The letter addresses all parts of the task, providing reasons for interest, suitability, and plans for free time.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

170 words

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