Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time

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It is debatable whether

children

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have to be encouraged by their

parents

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or left to choose their own way. Both sides will be discussed in

this

Linking Words

essay, and I will support the former one. On the one hand, it is believed from some people that

parents

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, guardians, or foster

parents

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ought to let their

children

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discover their own.

This

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is because if those

children

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have free-will, they will avoid the negative impact of their society.

Also

Linking Words

, following their dreams can help them to achieve what will make them happy and satisfied.

In contrast

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, a person might lose a suitable path when others tell him/her what they thought right.

This

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negative effect is a result that peer pressure causes.

On the other hand

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, I believe that

parents

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have to motivate their

children

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to be active in teamwork activities in their spare time.

This

Linking Words

is to say, participation in groups could help them to integrate with people and

thus

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improving interpersonal skills

such

Linking Words

as communication skills.

For example

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, if

parents

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encourage their

children

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to join student activities,

this

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can help them to become an effective element in their society, leading to self-esteem.

In other words

Linking Words

, they might feel that their life has value.

As a result

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, those

children

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will become more responsible than before, and

then

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they will have more information about their early start in life.

This

Linking Words

can contribute

Verify preposition usage

show examples

reaching their goals quickly than their peers who have not been motivated by anybody. In conclusion,

although

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leaving

children

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to decide which is better for them in their early life has some benefits, I believe that

parents

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have to guide them and encourage them to be part of society.

Submitted by ayamfathy90 on Thu Jan 21 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
explore
discover

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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Car owership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are n ow "one big traffic jam'

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful Discuss both views and give your opinion.