Some people believe that the public health will be worse in the future than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is argued that, whether people have to accept bad situations or have to improve these situations. There is some justification to accept it, but try to improve to get better results.
This
essay is based on both the views and my view at
last
. There are several reasons in favour of my stance. To commence with, some of the people stick with their bad
job
and the situation is they can not quit it because of some family issues like poverty and other expense,
although
worry about unemployment.
For instance
, if they left the
job
it is not easy to get another
job
in a short time it makes them the table with the same office.
Moreover
, some bad situations are beyond our power
such
as death, as no one can control it.
However
, skills and good education make a good route to get success in life. If
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction If. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
a person feels unpleasant from
j
Add an article
a
the

The noun phrase job seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
ob , he should try to do more efforts to find another
job
with good skills. because every
job
sector wants a skilful person who can achieve targets in a short time.
Furthermore
, its hard to control death, but the illness can be prevented by doing exercise and other physical activities which make a person active and attentive.
As a result
, it makes a body strong to fight with diseases. To conclude, it is inevitable to accept a bad situation in life, while these could be stopped or reduce by doing some efforts and try to improve the negative into positive.
Submitted by nishusweet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays: