Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#technology #access #exchange #information #danger #societies

Nowadays, the exchange of intelligence through the latest technology is fast and anybody can have access to it. Some

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

think that

this

system is not safe, and it jeopardizes our security. In my opinion,

This

new technical advancement has many benefits than its drawbacks with

up to date

Add a hyphen

up-to-date

show examples

safety measures.

Firstly

, It made our life so easy. For

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

instance, these days we can find out any information without going outside of our house and just a click away from it, all we have to do is to type the question in the search engine on the internet.

Also

, we can do any bank transaction by using our smartphones or laptops.

The video

Correct article usage

Video

show examples

calling to our

love

Replace the word

loved

show examples

ones is

also

the gift of the latest

development

Fix the agreement mistake

developments

show examples

in the IT sector. All

Change preposition

show examples

all, these facilities save time and effort.

However

, there is some security issue with these developments.

For example

, Hackers around the world can hack

Change preposition

into

show examples

our personal data like financial information, photos, videos, etc.

Moreover

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

online scammers loot people online by playing the role of the fake government and fake police.

The people

Correct article usage

People

show examples

should be aware of these things and avoid sharing their personal data with an unknown person on the net.

Furthermore

, update the antivirus software of your technical devices timely

To conclude

, the latest development in technology offers us many advantages and few disadvantages, and with awareness, the disadvantages can be solved.

Submitted by jstdeep on Thu Jan 21 2021

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task response

Focus on addressing the prompt directly and presenting a clear position. Ensure that the ideas are developed and supported throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing ideas in a more coherent manner and use cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Word Count

Each government and authority gave funding to art society; however, some people including me are strongly of the opinion that this is a type of wasting money and it is not profitable action that all social class can use it.

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. What is your opinion

It was predicted that, with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Some feel that students should not have to take standardized tests in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous.**To what extent do you agree with this statement?*