Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, the exchange of intelligence through the latest technology is fast and anybody can have access to it. Some
persons
Replace the word
people

The word persons doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
think that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

system is not safe, and it jeopardizes our security. In my opinion,
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

new technical advancement has many benefits than its drawbacks with
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date

It seems that up to date is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
safety measures.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, It made our life so easy. For
an
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
instance, these days we can find out any information without going outside of our house and just a click away from it, all we have to do is to type the question in the search engine on the internet.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we can do any bank transaction by using our smartphones or laptops.
The video
Correct article usage
Video

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
calling to our
love
Replace the word
loved

The word love doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
ones is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the gift of the latest
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments

It seems that development may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in the IT sector. All
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
all, these facilities save time and effort.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is some security issue with these developments.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Hackers around the world can hack
in
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
our personal data like financial information, photos, videos, etc.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
online scammers loot people online by playing the role of the fake government and fake police.
The people
Correct article usage
People

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
should be aware of these things and avoid sharing their personal data with an unknown person on the net.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, update the antivirus software of your technical devices timely
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the latest development in technology offers us many advantages and few disadvantages, and with awareness, the disadvantages can be solved.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Focus on addressing the prompt directly and presenting a clear position. Ensure that the ideas are developed and supported throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing ideas in a more coherent manner and use cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: