IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#technology #access #exchange #information #danger #societies
Nowadays, the exchange of intelligence through the latest technology is fast and anybody can have access to it. Some
persons
Replace the word
people
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 think that
this
 system is not safe, and it jeopardizes our security. In my opinion,
This
 new technical advancement has many benefits than its drawbacks with
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
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 safety measures.
Firstly
, It made our life so easy. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
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instance, these days we can find out any information without going outside of our house and just a click away from it, all we have to do is to type the question in the search engine on the internet.
Also
, we can do any bank transaction by using our smartphones or laptops.
The video
Correct article usage
Video
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 calling to our
love
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loved
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 ones is
also
 the gift of the latest
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
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 in the IT sector. All
of
Change preposition
in
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 all, these facilities save time and effort.
However
, there is some security issue with these developments.
For example
, Hackers around the world can hack
in
Change preposition
into
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 our personal data like financial information, photos, videos, etc.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online scammers loot people online by playing the role of the fake government and fake police.
The people
Correct article usage
People
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 should be aware of these things and avoid sharing their personal data with an unknown person on the net.
Furthermore
, update the antivirus software of your technical devices timely
To conclude
 , the latest development in technology offers us many advantages and few disadvantages, and with awareness, the disadvantages can be solved.
Submitted by jstdeep on

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task response
Focus on addressing the prompt directly and presenting a clear position. Ensure that the ideas are developed and supported throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing ideas in a more coherent manner and use cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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