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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime
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Nowadays, the
crime
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 rate is reaching to its peak day by day. To lower the
crime
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 rate, the biggest step towards it would be, educate
people
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 about the consequences of committing it. After completing the punishment , some
criminals
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 become a good and responsible citizen.
however
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, it is a debatable issue that these are the best
people
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 to make the younger generation know about the results of doing
crime
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. In
this
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 essay , I will discuss the pros and cons by providing supportive examples. To start with
people
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, who became good citizens now , may help the teenagers to understand the dangers of it. After analysing about their
crime
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 in prison as well as
also
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 seeing other
criminals
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 and their hard punishment , some
criminals
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 realised that how they are harming the society and their family as well. To expatiate, some
people
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 commit
crime
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 because of their needs whereas others do it to harm
people
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such
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 as killing. Later they feel bad about themselves and their family
also
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 it is often seen that
children
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 follow their elders without knowing about results. So by becoming a good person , they can help the government to reduce the number of
crime
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 by educating adults that how harmful
this
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 can be.
On the other hand
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, the government should
also
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 be responsible for it. They should spread awareness about outcomes of committing a
crime
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.
Parents
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 and education
also
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 play a crucial role to lower the crimes as education shapes once the future by letting them know about good and bad. It makes
people
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 learn about how they can achieve things by following the right path.
Children
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also
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 learn from their
parents
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 . For an instance, like touching other
people
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's stuff without asking them; so
parents
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 should pay attention to small things and make
children
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 understand that it is wrong. In conclusion, after taking all points into consideration , I believe that it is really important to educate
people
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 about the punishments and the results of committing a
crime
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 . I
also
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 strongly believe that the
criminals
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 who are now a responsible citizen can help to understand
children
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 the dangers of committing a
crime
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 but
also
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parents
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 , teachers and government should take concrete steps towards it.
Submitted by pragnapatel027 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
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