IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extent do you agree?

#artists #salaries #government #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a claim the
government
Use synonyms
 ought to spend money on low-income artisan for continuing their job. While I agree with the statement that they should receive financial help from the authority, It is better if they get it from other successful experts. In
this
Linking Words
 scientific era, where people are more fascinated about technology, they are losing interest in arts and even some consider it as a useless thing.
secondly
Linking Words
, Without any backup,
artists
Use synonyms
 would quit their profession. After all, they
also
Linking Words
 need to make their living
hence
Linking Words
 they will prefer high paid jobs rather than dream jobs for completing their fundamental needs. If there is no artist we could lose our values as art contribute tremendous values in city or country traditions.
Thus
Linking Words
 it is essential that the
government
Use synonyms
support
Use synonyms
 them to enhance the artwork.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, not all the
artists
Use synonyms
 and art are being ignored as some are having a successful career. They are earning a very good amount of money than any well-known professional and businessman and it is their duty
also
Linking Words
 that they must have to
support
Use synonyms
 their colleague to boost respective art.
Therefore
Linking Words
, Themselves rather than the
government
Use synonyms
 must have to
support
Use synonyms
artists
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, both the
government
Use synonyms
 and successful
artists
Use synonyms
 should
support
Use synonyms
 other
artists
Use synonyms
 who have financial problems.
Submitted by skshikhakochar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: