The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, many
people
have given their personal
information
to online
companies
. While acquiring these
data
by multi online corporations have been regarded as a disadvantage, I would disagree with
this
statement because it helps them to identify the needs of
people
based on
this
information
. One of the drawbacks of
this
trend is the peril of cyberattack.
This
is because some
companies
have failed in protecting their user's
information
from hackers.
For example
, Facebook was attacked by hackers from Russia in 2015 ,and they steal millions of
data
because they found a gap in Facebook's security.
As a result
,
people
felt so concerned about their privacy and started questioning whether the large internet
companies
are keen on providing solid protection for their customers or collecting more
information
about them.
On the other hand
, the most significant advantage of
this
trend is meeting the expectation of clients. Customers have often set up a higher expectation when they gave permission to online businesses on using their
information
for marketing purposes. They expect them to develop products or services that match their desires and interests. To illustrate
this
, Apple often uses the
data
of its subscribers to update its software in order to correct any mistake that might affect the performance of its devices. To sum up, Despite the drawback of holding personal
data
of users by internet
companies
such
as security breach, we must take into consideration of creating products and services that fulfil
people
's needs. In my view, I would agree that the advantages outweigh the downsides.
Submitted by khadega.amer09 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

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  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
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  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
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