The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, many
people
Use synonyms
have given their personal
information
Use synonyms
to online
companies
Use synonyms
. While acquiring these
data
Use synonyms
by multi online corporations have been regarded as a disadvantage, I would disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement because it helps them to identify the needs of
people
Use synonyms
based on
this
Linking Words
information
Use synonyms
. One of the drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
trend is the peril of cyberattack.
This
Linking Words
is because some
companies
Use synonyms
have failed in protecting their user's
information
Use synonyms
from hackers.
For example
Linking Words
, Facebook was attacked by hackers from Russia in 2015 ,and they steal millions of
data
Use synonyms
because they found a gap in Facebook's security.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
felt so concerned about their privacy and started questioning whether the large internet
companies
Use synonyms
are keen on providing solid protection for their customers or collecting more
information
Use synonyms
about them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the most significant advantage of
this
Linking Words
trend is meeting the expectation of clients. Customers have often set up a higher expectation when they gave permission to online businesses on using their
information
Use synonyms
for marketing purposes. They expect them to develop products or services that match their desires and interests. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, Apple often uses the
data
Use synonyms
of its subscribers to update its software in order to correct any mistake that might affect the performance of its devices. To sum up, Despite the drawback of holding personal
data
Use synonyms
of users by internet
companies
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as security breach, we must take into consideration of creating products and services that fulfil
people
Use synonyms
's needs. In my view, I would agree that the advantages outweigh the downsides.
Submitted by khadega.amer09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: