Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree

#countries #rate #crime #people #police #streets

this

day and age, there is an increase in the number of criminals in many nations.

While

some argue that ensuring more police officers on the road is the most effective one, I opine that there are better solutions to tackle

this

issue. There might be

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

certain reasons why the greater number of policemen

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

an impact on limiting criminality.

First,

the places with more unstable security status have a higher rate of offenders.

Consequently

, by

rising

Verb problem

increasing

show examples

the quantity of police, violated and law-breaking activities can be prohibited at the beginning.

Furthermore

, the increase in presence of the policemen on the streets would enable the residents to report whatever could be criminal signs or illegal activities.

Therefore

, the sooner they could intervene, the more detrimental impacts can be reduced.

However

, the above-mentioned measure just only addresses the tip of an iceberg, not the root of the problem.

That is

why

crime

education would be a more sustainable and efficient method to tackle the issue.

Firstly

, education at an early age would have a positive influence on

children’

Change noun form

children’s

show examples

lives.

According to

new studies, children who are rejected by their parents,

grow

Correct word choice

and grow

show examples

up in dysfunctional families are at the highest risk of becoming delinquents.

Additionally

, teachers

also

play a vital role in raising awareness about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crime

. Not only moral lessons but

also

optional subjects, like criminal psychology should be included in the study program to provide the knowledge and orientate them to become good citizens.

Therefore

, with the well-educated generation, we could expect

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

minimized

crime

rates in the future. In conclusion,

although

more defenders on the streets will bring a stable security status, I am firmly convinced that

crime

education will be a sustainable measure to remedy

this

issue.

Submitted by dinhvyhanh on Sun Jan 24 2021

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task response

Overall, the essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a clear stance on the issue. Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your points and further strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion. Work on improving the flow of ideas within paragraphs to enhance coherence further.

task response

Clear stance on the issue and consistent argumentation

coherence and cohesion

Well-structured introduction and conclusion

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to broadcast foreign films and TV shows. Others, however, think it is best to produce local films and shows. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion

You share your room with another student in the college hostel. You find it very difficult to study there because he or She always has parties and friends visiting. write a letter to the hostel warden complaining about your displeasure with the roommate.