As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#inventions #computer #television #people #activity #effect #health

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Nowadays, we are in the fourth industrial revolution in which people usually use modern forms of communication. While

this

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might harm people’s physical health to several extents, I still believe that the advantages do outweigh the disadvantages. The main drawback of electronic tools is that people become less physically active due to excessive time spent on

such

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inventions

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. In the workplace, employees are expected to sit down and work almost without breaks in front of the computer’s screen over a long period.

This

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repeated action daily can progressively lead to impaired physical mobility or a dangerously increased chance of fatal diseases

such

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as diabetes or stroke.

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can

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be an adverse impact on the whole community in the long term, as we will possibly see an increasing number of patients in hospitals suffering from these poor health conditions. Despite the negatives mentioned above, I believe that these

inventions

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are bringing us more merits than demerits.

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, they allow an individual to communicate and keep in touch with his family, relatives, and friends,

thus

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reinforce the relationship among them.

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, people can be informed about what is happening around the globe, especially those living in remote areas like islands or deserts, simply by turning on a television.

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, if a man chose to live in the isolated countryside, his life would be in huge trouble and tedious as a consequence of the absence of

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electronic devices.

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inventions

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like the computer offer a great opportunity for numerous young students to complete lots of online University courses with no need of attending face-to-face classes. In conclusion,

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I recognize many potential dangers of electronically operated devices, it appears that these

inventions

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are more beneficial to a human being in terms of communication and long-distance study.

Submitted by Nina Emily on Tue Jan 26 2021

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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As a result of electronic inventions such as the computer and television, people do less physical activity, and this is having a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, while others think we can use as much water as we want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

museums and ar galleries shuld concentrate on local works rather than showing the culture or artworks from other countries. Agree or disagree

Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?