Trial marriage is becoming more and more popular among college students. Many people believe this trend has a negative impact on student’s live. Do you agree or disagree?

These days,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
young couples tend to cohabit before marriage has become common. Personally, I believe
this
phenomenon
produceS
Correct your spelling
produces
show examples
a detrimental impact on
student’s
Fix the agreement mistake
students’
show examples
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
To begin
with,
that is
not to say that cohabitation
dose
Correct your spelling
does
show examples
not bring any optimistic effect.
For instance
, if they have to face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
complex situations in their
life
, they will possibly share and solve their problems together. Another perk is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they probably facilitate each other to study or work for their
life
in future.
However
, the drawbacks of cohabitation causes are far greater.
On the other hand
, I believe that premarital
life
may exert a disastrous effect on education and
Correct article usage
the economY
show examples
economY
Correct your spelling
economy
show examples
. More specifically,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young couples may
totally
Rephrase
apply
show examples
spend most of their time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
each other rather than concentrate on their studies
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university, leading to the fact that they probably find themselves out of their depth and fall behind
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
their studies.
Furthermore
, the job market is competitive, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers would prefer those who are well-qualified and competent, which could lead to the fact that they will be unemployed. Another reason is that cohabitation possibly produces a detrimental on relationships. Indeed, if they
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
have
unwanted
Add an article
an unwanted
show examples
pregnancy,
maybe
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they MAY have to decide to abortion.
This
could be because they
have
Verb problem
do
show examples
not enough experience and
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
these
caseS
Correct your spelling
cases
show examples
, leading to
conflictS
Correct your spelling
conflict
between them and
break-downS
Correct your spelling
break-downs
show examples
IN their relationship.
Besides
that, regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
economics,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young couples
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not enough money to raise their child. In conclusion, I would concur with those who believe that premarital
life
could lead to adverse
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
on student’s
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by minanguyen1211 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear main points and supporting ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more effective in introducing and summarizing your argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your response addresses all aspects of the prompt and provides clear, comprehensive ideas. Use relevant and specific examples to support your points more effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: