Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Advertising is one of the important sources of growing any business.

Although

Linking Words

advertise

Wrong verb form

advertising

show examples

any product is necessary for its sale, these ads in today's time

targeting

Wrong verb form

target

show examples

children

Use synonyms

. I completely agree that it should be banned as it has many negative effects on the growing age of

children

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, it could be argued that

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

can not be stopped from

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

eyes. The growing age of

children

Use synonyms

brings about hundreds of questions in their minds which for some reason they do not ask

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

anyone but they learn through observations.

However

Linking Words

, it might be possible that something is not

appropriate

Rephrase

as appropriate

show examples

to learn for a child

than

Correct word choice

show examples

it is for a teenager,

such

Linking Words

as always,

condemn

Wrong verb form

condemning

show examples

advertisements

Use synonyms

. I believe that these types of learning can be done in school at their proper age.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is not something broadcast on every channel and

discusses

Wrong verb form

discussed

show examples

openly.

Secondly

Linking Words

, commercials make our kids more demanding in front of their parents. Most

advertisements

Use synonyms

are attractive to adolescent, which means they ask their parents to buy it for them. Even worse, not every parent afford these types of

gadget

Fix the agreement mistake

gadgets

show examples

or fast food or biscuits

Change preposition

for

show examples

their kids.

In addition

Linking Words

some times

Correct your spelling

sometimes

show examples

children

Use synonyms

might get offended or feel ashamed that

this

Linking Words

is something

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

parent can not afford.

Finally

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

some ads may have fantasy content, many people,

therefore

Linking Words

, argue that

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

informative and knowledgeable. Most

advertisements

Use synonyms

that target

children

Use synonyms

on confectionary items are not real, but they show more fantasy.

As a result

Linking Words

, many youngsters become complex or they might start these confectionary items as

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

need and skip their actual meal. My strongest argument is that the actual meal helped kids to grow stronger not these advertising products.

To sum up

Linking Words

, not only do advertisement makes

children

Use synonyms

more demanding but

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

also

Linking Words

may convey wrong information to growing

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, I strongly feel that these

advertisements

Use synonyms

should be banned.

sobia.nedianTue Jan 26 2021

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task response

Provide more specific examples to support your points. Try to elaborate on the negative effects of advertising targeted at children with concrete instances.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in your introduction and a summary in your conclusion. Your essay lacks a precise introduction and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

314 words

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Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepare them to be good parents. In what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?