In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a house with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #parents’ #home #school #house #friends #development

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The trend of leaving

parents

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' home after school is rapidly burgeoning worldwide. Some

people

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opine that

this

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is beneficial as young

people

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learn how to live independently whilst others have contrast viewpoint.

Although

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there are few benefits, I strongly consider it as a negative development.

Firstly

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, teenage is a delicate age, at

this

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stage, juveniles require correct guidance of their elders. In

this

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age,

children

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experience numerous physical as well as mental changes. They need the support of

people

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who can easily understand their problems.

Further

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, guide them to deal with

such

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changes with adequate manner.

For instance

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, young girls face hormonal changes in their bodies. If they are with

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Add a pronoun

their

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arents, it will be easy to deal well.

Therefore

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, young

children

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should stay with

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Add a pronoun

their

show examples

arents while completing tertiary education.

Secondly

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Add an article

the

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amily is crucial for everyone,

parents

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too need their

children

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for emotional support. Elder

people

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after their office work prefer to sit with their

children

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This

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helps to maintain camaraderie and happiness in

families

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Children

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leaving houses after school will hamper life.

For instance

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, a recent survey stated that adults are facing problems like depression because of differences among

families

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In addition

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, it inversely affects communication,

families

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do not interact with each other.

Therefore

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people

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are becoming emotionally weak due to

this

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trend. In conclusion,

this

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trend may have economic benefits but it is causing mental issues. In my perspective,

children

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should not leave after school, they should continue their studies while staying at home so that

families

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stay connected.

Submitted by Priya on Wed Jan 27 2021

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

self-reliance
financial responsibility
social isolation
housing demand
personal growth
financial strain
problem-solving
decision-making skills
disrupt
support networks

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Many people believe that wearing a uniform to work is good,while others argue against it