Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In
this
modern world,
f
Add an article
the
show examples
ilm industry plays an important role. As we know
celebrities
are good looking and much more attractive. so most of the
youngsters
are following them in a bad manner. I agree with
this
statement and discuss my points in
f
Add an article
the
show examples
ollowing paragraphs.
To begin
with, everyone is like to watch
movies
either it is action or comedy. Filmstars are just play role in
movies
. Our
youngsters
think differently most of them
dreaming
Change the form of the verb
dream
show examples
to be a celebrity
that is
not a bad idea but
this
a not good when
youngsters
just focus on
movies
. Adults try to copy their style
likewise
,
celebrities
always wear expensive clothes and jewellery to attract people as well as to maintain a symbol most of the
youngsters
try to copy their style and
that is
very expansive. Normal people can't afford it.
Furthermore
,
celebrities
give a bad influence on teenagers towards fights, drugs. These days teens become more aggressive because of the
movies
. Those things are not good for
y
Add an article
the
show examples
outh.
Moreover
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
noticed our teens adopt
a bad habits
Correct the article-noun agreement
bad habits
a bad habit
show examples
such
as smoking and drinking because of
celebrities
. They try to copy their idols those things are not good for their future. For personally
b
Add an article
the
show examples
iggest example is mine. I smoked
first
time when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
was 18 years old
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
smoked my favourite Bollywood star smokes a lot in that movie. So
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
smoked but the thing is that there are so many others who did same like me. Now
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
realized
that is
a really very bad thing. overall, all we know youth is
s
Change the article
the
show examples
trongest pillar of
n
Add an article
the
show examples
ation, somehow it a government responsibility to banned
such
movies
that show violence and other drug activities.
Submitted by rohit on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: