Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

#people #teenagers #work #money #lessons #shouldn #sacrifice #rest #activities

Whereas some individuals believe that working part-

time

and having an income is beneficial for adolescents because they will gain knowledge about the working sector, others consider that children should spend their free

time

by doing activities specific for their age or just relax. I partially agree with

this

statement and I will explore both viewpoints by giving relevant examples. On the one hand , I agree with the idea that teenagers should work, but only during their holidays. In

this

way,they will gain valuable experience and they will improve their communication skills.

For instance

, a close friend of mine has been working every summer since she was 14 years old and after she graduated from university she received the best available job offers from many companies .Not only were they offering an attractive position but they

also

promised a high salary.

As a result

, her acquired experience and skills were valued by the employers who looked for hiring personnel.

On the other hand

, I fell that adolescents should relax after their classes.

therefore

they should not be burdened with tiring responsibilities.

Consequently

, they will be focused at school and they will have good results. Another important aspect is the

time

allocated for playtime, which is very important for normal development. Recent studies have shown that both children and adults benefit from playing. It was proved that

this

type of activity enhances the creativity and productivity for all individuals In conclusion,

although

I think having free

time

after-school is essential for teenagers normal development , I feel that there are some major benefits in meeting the requirements of a workplace at an early age because is a good way to learn some crucial lessons. If children are focused on work only on their holidays and in the rest of the

time

they put their efforts into studying, they will achieve successful careers.

Submitted by delia.ciobanu.pharma on Thu Jan 28 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sporting facilities, others however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that parents have great influence on children's growth, but others think that influence from the outside plays a more important role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year.

Some people believe that our happiness depends on how much money we have. Others say that money cannot buy happiness. Do you think that having money is the key to happiness, or are there more important factors?