More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowle

Nowadays, youths are putting more
fats
Fix the agreement mistake
fat
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on
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in
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their bodies, which is becoming problematic for developed nations. There are consequences associated with
this
burning issue and can be seen mostly in wealthy nations where accessibility
of
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to
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easy
Correct article usage
an easy
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lifestyle is possible without sweating much physically . I shall
further
discuss mingled problems and long-lasting causes
rutted
Verb problem
related
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with
Change preposition
to
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obesity. To start with, a juvenile with a heavy body is suffering from several physical and mental drawbacks. Usually , in developed nations, minors are privileged by a plethora of indoor video games and indoor activity set-ups, which basically intend them to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not step out and explore other options
of
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for
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passing leisure time.
Moreover
, authorities are more conscious about the healthy eating habits of everyone out there.
Furthermore
, most parents are working which
in-result
Correct your spelling
results
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can not
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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their full attention
in
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to
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raising a kid, and kids themselves
developed
Wrong verb form
develop
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eating habits in whatever way they feel good and comfortable.
Finally
, In most cases , children
are ended
Wrong verb form
end
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up consuming more calories and fat items in their tummy. To cite an example, in the US more than 80
percentage
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per cent
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of children and dealing with more weight than what is recommended by the World Health Organization. Taking everything into consideration,
previously
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apply
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it will become a more serious problem for authorities and parents they must step forward and their collective efforts can eradicate the issue by setting new standards by the national authority as well as giving more attention to the children
by
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through
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their parents.
Submitted by savududhat123 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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