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Band 5.5

WEALTHY COUNTRIES SHOULD ACCEPT MORE REFUGEES AND PROVIDE THEM WITH BASIC ASSITANCE, SUCH AS FOOD AND HOUSING. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#countries #refugees #assitance #food
Developed
countries
 should be willing to host a larger number of
refugees
 and help them with basic needs.
This
 essay totally agrees with
this
 statement because wealthy
countries
 have the conditions and possibilities to help and as humans
Add a comma
,
show examples
we should help each other in order to provide a chance for those in need. Rich
countries
 are in
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 position to help others who are in need. Wealthy
countries
 can use part of their GDP for humanitarian reasons which may include accepting
refugees
 and providing them with food and housing until their situation is stable.
For example
, Venezuela
refugees
are being accepting
Change the verb form
are being accepted
are accepting
show examples
 in wealthy
countries
such
 as the USA or many others in Europe due to the political persecution suffered in their country. Throughout (the) history there have been many situations where
countries
 acting with generosity and solidarity have helped many of those in need. National governments must be aware that situations may change dramatically in other states and because of that a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of people may need their help for justified reasons.
For example
, currently
Add a comma
,
show examples
a considerable number of European
countries
 are accepting
refugees
 from
countries
 as Syria given the catastrophic situation that its population is living through.
However
, these actions should be wisely controlled in order to avoid economical strains for the hosting country as well as social problems. To conclude, rich states are in the position to help if willing and
also
this
 should be a primary concern for every country that can afford it. I
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 believe that more developed nations should help others in need in a reasonable way.
Submitted by monicadepablo on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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