Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

#universities #colleges #sports #activities #classes #libraries #support

The educational system is not only composed

Verify preposition usage

show examples

academic and acknowledgement responsibilities but

also

activities

related to

sports

and social interaction. Part of the population defends that more money should be spent on the academical structure of learning; while others claim that the balance among those

activities

should be prioritized. I would side with those who support the necessity of balancing the investments equally because it would increase the success rate of a student in his future career. On the one hand, supporters of prioritizing investments in academic

activities

say that technical acknowledgement can increase the possibility of acquiring a better position in the extremely competitive labour market that

students

face when finishing studies.

Furthermore

, focussing in creating more structure to allow

students

to develop technical abilities,

such

as libraries with advanced computers and rare books or laboratory classes which

students

could implement what they have been seeing in class can create in them the interest in research, which can lead to new discoveries in the future.

On the other hand

, the benefits of investing more on academical

activities

pale in comparison to the cost of mental diseases that

students

face if deprived of

sports

or social

activities

For instance

, the University of Alberta published a study that compared

students

who were only focussed in technical development with a group who shared almost fifty per cent of their time with leisure,

sports

and group

activities

. The group which were only focussed in technical studies were more likely to develop depression and anxiety

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they could not use the benefits of alleviating stress with side

activities

. To conclude,

although

some benefits could be related to prioritizing the use of resources and destinate them to classes and libraries improvements, I believe that balancing investments and supporting different areas

such

sports

and social

activities

could generate better results for academicals.

Submitted by andreluizrc on Mon Feb 01 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Fully explain your ideas

It is neither possible nor useful to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rates now-a-days is decreasing compared to the past due to advance technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children should learn how to compete, but other think that children should be taught to cooperatevto become more useful adults. Express some reasons for both views and give your opinion.

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.