Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #children #activities #time #pressure

Some mothers and fathers argue that

kids

should take part in educational

activities

while they are free, others believe that

children

would feel stress if they are not allowed to go outside.

Although

institutional

activities

help

children

in school, I believe physical exercise is more important for them to stay healthy and fit. On the one hand, taking part in educational

activities

help

children

in school.

This

is to say that when students participate in any kind of educational activity they get to learn general knowledge that helps

kids

in their examinations in schools.

For example

, a recent report of the news article revealed that students who participate in a different type of educational

activities

perform better in examinations than the students who do not take any part in that kind of

activities

However

, I believe that physical exercise is more important because a lack of physical activity leads to

health

problems.

On the other hand

kids

who get involved in physical games are stronger and fit.

This

is because they play outdoor games that benefit them and they are less likely to face

health

problems when they get old.

However

, those adolescents who do not do any physical activity get obese in their life later and that leads to serious

health

conditions,

such

as diabetes and heart problems and

this

put strain on

health

service and the not only patient suffers but their family

also

suffer.

For instance

, the

health

department of the University of Karachi study reported that in their journal

last

year that young

kids

who do not participate in physical

activities

in their childhood are 27% more likely to get a heart attack when the get forty than those who regularly participate in outdoor games. I believe that it is a better idea to encourage young

children

to play outdoor. In conclusion, while some parents think that

kids

should participate in institutional

activities

, others say that

children

get stressed by

this

. I believe that

children

should be encouraged to go outside.

Submitted by saifuddin.abdulrehman on Mon Feb 01 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

335 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents believe that their children should do educational activities during their free time. Others say that in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries today, people in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units rather than in larger, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Write about the following topic. Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.