Some people think that nations and individuals should focus on their problems because it is unable to help everyone in the world since there are so many in needs.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As the world is rapidly growing; the government is being involved in the improvement and establishment of their society .Some people believe that it is the

own

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

responsibility of each individual and

countries

Fix the agreement mistake

country

show examples

to focus on their issues.Despite having different opinions from others,I strongly agree with the above notion .

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss points to support my opinion.

To begin

Linking Words

with,each person in society should be accountable for

their's

Change noun form

their

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

the

country

Use synonyms

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

by using the resources provided by the authorities .

Firstly

Linking Words

,in many developing countries ,the main issue is global warming

due to

Linking Words

emission

Correct article usage

the emission

show examples

of gases released by human activities

such

Linking Words

as driving ,

overconsumption

Correct word choice

and overconsumption

show examples

of electricity.To illustrate,nowadays,every house has motor vehicles

such

Linking Words

as cars and bikes and they use them regularly which causes too much pollution and ultimately creates global warming .

However

Linking Words

,being a responsible person ,

pupil

Fix the agreement mistake

pupils

show examples

should understand the consequences of using motor vehicles unnecessarily and start using public transport which protects the environment ,

thus

Linking Words

mitigate

Wrong verb form

mitigating

show examples

the problem.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,authorities of countries are more responsible towards the inhabitants and they should initiate programs to bring awareness in people which helps to solve many problems in humanity .

For instance

Linking Words

,the government should conduct a campaign

on giving

Change preposition

to give

show examples

knowledge about the usage of public transportation.

Furthermore

Linking Words

,implementing some schemes like distributing vouchers

Change preposition

for

show examples

transportation can bring enormous changes in the nation.

As a result

Linking Words

,major problems of society can be gradually decreased in the

country

Use synonyms

which can provide

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

fruitful life

Change preposition

for

show examples

people.

To conclude

Linking Words

,despite having many challenges and few areas where a person or a nation alone cannot solve , I strongly believe that,each individual and nation being more responsible towards their

country

Use synonyms

can bring significant changes in every

country

Use synonyms

Aarti DarsiniTue Feb 02 2021

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coherence and cohesion

Consider organizing your essay into clearer paragraphs that group similar ideas together to improve the overall flow.

task achievement

Make sure to address counterarguments or alternative viewpoints to strengthen your argument and demonstrate a well-rounded perspective.

task achievement

Try to provide more relevant examples to support your points, as this can enhance the clarity and depth of your argument.

task achievement

You present a clear opinion and structure your argument well with a beginning, middle, and end.

task achievement

Your awareness of environmental issues demonstrates a relevant understanding of global challenges.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

challenges
prioritize
resources
aid
sustainable development
global community
collaboration
support
individual contributions
capacity
solidarity
cooperation
international cooperation
policy-making
alleviate
humanitarian crisis
interconnected
shared responsibility

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