THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO ARE AT RISK OF SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEMS DUE TO BEING OVERWEIGHT IS INCREASING. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR GROWTH IN OVER WEIGHT PEOPLE IN SOCIETY . HOW CAN THIS PROBLEM BE SOLVED .

These days, more people are getting obese. Those who are obese have a higher chance of having severe health challenges.
This
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essay will look at how poor eating habits and lack of
exercise
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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led to
this
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increase
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and
also
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how
the
Remove the article
apply
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this
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problem can be solved. The main reason for
overweight
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being overweight
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is poor eating
habit
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habits
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.
For example
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, most people now eat junk meals
instead
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of
home cooked
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home-cooked
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meals.
This
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is because they are fast and easy to get. Eating
of
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apply
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such
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foods will only
increase
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the cholesterol and fat
level
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levels
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in the body. One way of reducing the
in-take
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intake
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of fast
food
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is for the government to
increase
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the tax on them, thereby making them more expensive and discouraging consumption.
In addition
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, fast
food
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owners should always include: "high
in-take
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intake
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of fast
food
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leads to obesity" in their
sign post
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signpost
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. Another cause of overweight is lack of adequate
exercise
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. Most obese persons are either not exercising at all or do little.
This
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is usually
due to
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their busy schedule or not having easy access to the gym.
Thus
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, it will be difficult to burn off fats which could lead to severe heart
condition
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conditions
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. In order to solve
this
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problem, the government need to open more gyms and make them easily accessible to all.
This
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will enable
persons
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people
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to
exercise
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more and stay in shape. In summary, more individuals are being overweight because they eat the wrong type of
food
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and do not
exercise
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enough. The government need to
increase
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the tax on junk
food
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and open more gyms. If
this
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is done, I believe that the number of fat
persons
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people
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will reduce and we will have a healthier society.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your main idea and provide more detail to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'finally' to improve flow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the two main causes of obesity and offers solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, giving a good structure to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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