THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO ARE AT RISK OF SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEMS DUE TO BEING OVERWEIGHT IS INCREASING. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR GROWTH IN OVER WEIGHT PEOPLE IN SOCIETY . HOW CAN THIS PROBLEM BE SOLVED .

These days, more people are getting obese. Those who are obese have a higher chance of having severe health challenges.

This

Linking Words

essay will look at how poor eating habits and lack of

exercise

Use synonyms

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

led to

this

Linking Words

increase

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

how

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem can be solved. The main reason for

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

is poor eating

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, most people now eat junk meals

instead

Linking Words

home cooked

Add a hyphen

home-cooked

show examples

meals.

This

Linking Words

is because they are fast and easy to get. Eating

Change preposition

apply

show examples

such

Linking Words

foods will only

increase

Use synonyms

the cholesterol and fat

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

in the body. One way of reducing the

in-take

Correct your spelling

intake

show examples

of fast

food

Use synonyms

is for the government to

increase

Use synonyms

the tax on them, thereby making them more expensive and discouraging consumption.

In addition

Linking Words

, fast

food

Use synonyms

owners should always include: "high

in-take

Correct your spelling

intake

show examples

of fast

food

Use synonyms

leads to obesity" in their

sign post

Correct your spelling

signpost

show examples

. Another cause of overweight is lack of adequate

exercise

Use synonyms

. Most obese persons are either not exercising at all or do little.

This

Linking Words

is usually

due to

Linking Words

their busy schedule or not having easy access to the gym.

Thus

Linking Words

, it will be difficult to burn off fats which could lead to severe heart

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

. In order to solve

this

Linking Words

problem, the government need to open more gyms and make them easily accessible to all.

This

Linking Words

will enable

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

exercise

Use synonyms

more and stay in shape. In summary, more individuals are being overweight because they eat the wrong type of

food

Use synonyms

and do not

exercise

Use synonyms

enough. The government need to

increase

Use synonyms

the tax on junk

food

Use synonyms

and open more gyms. If

this

Linking Words

is done, I believe that the number of fat

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

will reduce and we will have a healthier society.

oghalemichaelTue Feb 02 2021

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly express your main idea and provide more detail to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words like 'firstly,' 'secondly,' and 'finally' to improve flow.

task achievement

The essay addresses the two main causes of obesity and offers solutions.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, giving a good structure to the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE WHO ARE AT RISK OF SERIOUS HEALTH PROBLEMS DUE TO BEING OVERWEIGHT IS INCREASING. WHAT IS THE REASON FOR GROWTH IN OVER WEIGHT PEOPLE IN SOCIETY . HOW CAN THIS PROBLEM BE SOLVED .

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

In their advertising, business nowadays usuallys emphatise that thier products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

Children are engaged in different kind of paid work. Many of people consider it inappropriate and Validate Essay many think it as a learning experience for taking responsibility?

In some cities public parks and open space are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?