Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that the involvement of the youth in societal issues is more than ever because their
parents
Use synonyms
are spending less
time
Use synonyms
with them. I agree with
this
Linking Words
notion to a large extent and reasons to strengthen my viewpoint are put forth in subsequent paragraphs. On the one hand, apart from the parent negligence, another factor responsible for the problems in society is the unemployment among the young generation. To explain, when students complete their education and fail to get appropriate job congruent to their qualification, they get discontent and depressed.
This
Linking Words
situation, sometimes, resorts them to take the drugs in order to get rid of from the apprehensions.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2019, many rehabilitation centres across the world declared unemployment among the young ones as one of the prominent reasons for their addiction to drugs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, spending less
time
Use synonyms
with their kids by the
parents
Use synonyms
is considered a paramount reason for the poor state of society.
First
Linking Words
of all,
children
Use synonyms
are not emotionally and socially developed as they lack feelings of love and affection from their guardians. It is primarily due to the poor work-balance of the
parents
Use synonyms
as they spend most of the
time
Use synonyms
at their offices
instead
Linking Words
of spending with their
children
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, it is often seen in the work culture of multinational companies that their employees leave the offices late in the evening. Due to
this
Linking Words
, they barely get any quality
time
Use synonyms
with their
children
Use synonyms
as they have other social responsibilities to perform.
This
Linking Words
situation adversely impacts the growth of
children
Use synonyms
in terms of emotions.
In addition
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
fail to keep a vigil eye on their
children
Use synonyms
when they spend more
time
Use synonyms
at their workplaces. Due to
this
Linking Words
, they sometimes fall prey to the bad company and get involved in various crimes as well as illegal activities. Not only
this
Linking Words
, kids lack guidance from
parents
Use synonyms
in taking decisions and choices which can impact their social and married life.
For example
Linking Words
, altercation among young couples can be resolved better if their experienced
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
advice them
time
Use synonyms
to
time
Use synonyms
by sparing moment from their busy life. To conclude, even though unemployment is an eminent reason for involvement of the young generation in problems in society, yet I believe
this
Linking Words
situation is aggravated because
parents
Use synonyms
are giving less
time
Use synonyms
to their
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by harkiratsingh.tu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: