More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

Obesity is the most common health issue worldwide. The sedentary lifestyle and junk foods are deteriorating the situation. Numerous health diseases and mental
problems
will be faced if
this
problem is not curbed.
Firstly
, less physical activities and bad eating habits are indispensable factors in causing overweight
problems
in developed countries. Civilians barely walk, they drive to offices and colleges. They sit for long hours at their workplaces.
For instance
, in offices, employees sit for eight hours.
Further
, people are not eating a balanced diet, they eat unhealthy food.
Hence
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
movements and bad diet are
casuing
Correct your spelling
causing
obesity in developed countries.
Secondly
, heavy people are prone to diseases and mental issues. These people face heart diseases.
For instance
, a recent study state that most of the heart attack patients are heavy.
In addition
, these become low confident in life which
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
personal insecurities. They prefer to stay at home and start avoiding social gatherings.
This
eventually
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
to low
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
show examples
and
myarid
Correct your spelling
myriad
my arid
of mental
problems
.
Therefore
, overweight can result in severe health issues and personal
problems
.
Submitted by Priya on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
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