More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

#children #countries #effects

Obesity is the most common health issue worldwide. The sedentary lifestyle and junk foods are deteriorating the situation. Numerous health diseases and mental

problems

will be faced if

this

problem is not curbed.

Firstly

, less physical activities and bad eating habits are indispensable factors in causing overweight

problems

in developed countries. Civilians barely walk, they drive to offices and colleges. They sit for long hours at their workplaces.

For instance

, in offices, employees sit for eight hours.

Further

, people are not eating a balanced diet, they eat unhealthy food.

Hence

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

movements and bad diet are

casuing

Correct your spelling

causing

obesity in developed countries.

Secondly

, heavy people are prone to diseases and mental issues. These people face heart diseases.

For instance

, a recent study state that most of the heart attack patients are heavy.

In addition

, these become low confident in life which

create

Change the verb form

creates

show examples

personal insecurities. They prefer to stay at home and start avoiding social gatherings.

This

eventually

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to low

self esteem

Add a hyphen

self-esteem

show examples

and

myarid

Correct your spelling

myriad

my arid

of mental

problems

Therefore

, overweight can result in severe health issues and personal

problems

Submitted by Priya on Wed Feb 03 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

177 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
processed foods
fast food culture
screen time
metabolic disorders
healthcare expenditure
lifestyle diseases
preventative strategies
nutritional education
public health policy
body mass index (BMI)
emotional well-being
stigmatization
exercise regimen
eating habits
junk food
socioeconomic factors
health literacy

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that there should be the death penalty for extremely serious crimes. Others believe that it is not mortally correct to kill criminals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?