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Band 4

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
Medical science is the key feature to maintain a good
health
 rate in a country. Many believe that medical facilities and treatments should be provided free of
cost
 to the
commom
Correct your spelling
common
people
, whereas there are others who argue that expensive medical
services
 cannot be accessible on these parameters. In my opinion, every hospital should reserve the rights to decide on the
cost
 of the
services
, based on the financial background of
people
.
Also
Add a comma
,
show examples
they can
setup
Correct your spelling
set up
show examples
 free medical camps for common viral diseases, which do not contain high
exensive
Correct your spelling
extensive
expensive
 treatment.
Firstly
, the Government should encourage the local medical institutes to facilitates free treatment camps for poor and needy
people
. As there were many
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 who died annually because of no medical
services
, are in great need for
such
 free medical camps. These no-
cost
services
 can be funded by donations from the Government and local bodies, as a
tax free
Add a hyphen
tax-free
show examples
initiatves
Correct your spelling
initiatives
initiative
.
Thus
, there is a need to have
such
services
 in every hospital, to reduce the annual death rate and increase the longevity among
people
.
Secondly
, the Government should give freedom to local
health
 centres and clinics to decide on the medical
cost
 for each patient. A background check on the patient's financial status can be done to finalize the expenses of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
service from the hospital. With
this
 initiative, the poor
people
 can get the needy expensive medical treatment at a comparatively low or no-
cost
 from the
health
are
Correct your spelling
care
show examples
 institutes.
Hence
, with
this
 idea
Add a comma
,
show examples
many
people
 can take benefits from
high
Add a hyphen
high-cost
show examples
cost
services
 within their cities. To conclude, in every country the curb of medical needs can be met by lowering the
cost
 of medical
services
 for needy
people
. In my opinion, the graph for
h
Add an article
the
show examples
ealth rate can
be increase
Change the verb form
be increased
show examples
 by providing necessary
health
services
 to the poor at
no-
Correct your spelling
no cost
show examples
cost
.
Submitted by mail.sumitpalsingh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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