IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries privately owned transport systems have a poor safety record. Yet it is the government who have ultimate responsibility for public safety. How can governments ensure that private transport companies do not neglect safety regulations?

#countries #transport #systems #safety #record #government #responsibility #governments #companies #neglect #regulations
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It has been widely reported that private
companies
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 which provide transportation
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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 to the public do not follow the
rules
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 regarding
safety
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 properly. Considering it is the government’s duty to guarantee that passengers are safe at all times, they should tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue by imposing
fines
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 on the
companies
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 that disrespect
safety
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 regulations and prohibiting them
to provide
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from providing
show examples
this
Linking Words
 service if they frequently disobey the legislation. First and foremost, the government should impose
fines
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 on any and every transport company that does not follow
safety
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 legislation. If these institutions are afraid of getting
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fines
Wrong verb form
fined
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, they will more likely abide by the
rules
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, which will definitely make people who use
this
Linking Words
 kind of transport feel safer.
However
Linking Words
, there are private organizations
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 do not care about paying
fines
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 because they have too much money.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there is a reasonable likelihood that these corporations would continue to ignore
safety
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 regulations. Another great solution which could be implemented in order to enhance public
safety
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 is prohibiting these
companies
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to run
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from running
show examples
 their business if they disrespect the
safety
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rules
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 too many times. Even though
this
Linking Words
 action would diminish the range of
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
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 local residents would have concerning transportation, it would undoubtedly make other private
companies
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 think twice before disobeying regulations regarding the passengers’s
safety
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. As an illustration of
this
Linking Words
, the mayor of my city has recently applied
this
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 measure and the outcomes were astonishing because the rate of accidents caused by poor
safety
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 in transport dropped to 5
percent
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per cent
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. In conclusion, private corporations that offer transportation services to citizens must be called out by the government
about
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for
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 their unacceptable
behavior
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behaviour
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 of neglecting
safety
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 legislation.
This
Linking Words
 can be addressed by imposing
fines
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 on the organizations that refuse to follow the
rules
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 and prohibiting them
to run
Change preposition
from running
show examples
 their business if they continue to disrespect the law.
Submitted by larissa.sepulveda19 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay provides a suitable response to the question, with relevant ideas and examples. However, there is room for improvement in fully addressing the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the overall coherence and cohesion could be improved with better linkers and more cohesive devices to connect ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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