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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A lot of young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

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Every year many young students graduate high school without the necessary
knowledge
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 of personal expenses as they don’t know how to survive on a budget in the real world. Financial illiteracy is due to a lack of proper education as well as inadequate
knowledge
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.
However
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,
this
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 problem can be solved by introducing
management
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 and finance-related class in high school and proper parenting. The reasons why many youngsters do not know how to spend their money properly is due to the lack of both theoretical and practical
knowledge
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 on how to manage their own money.
Likewise
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, some
parents
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 do not share financial responsibilities with their children. Take my cousin as an example, my uncle will buy everything that my cousin needed. In consequence, she doesn’t know how to manage her cash.
However
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, financial education comprises lessons on how to spend efficiently and enable individual to make informed and useful decisions with all the financial resource.
Furthermore
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, if schools introduce financial and
management
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 education
then
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 students can learn about making plans for savings, how to use a credit card and how to avoid debt.
Similarly
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,
parents
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 can teach financial accountability.
In addition
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,
parents
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 can
also
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 share some financial responsibilities.
For example
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, my
parents
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 give me pocket money
that is
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 sufficient for a whole month and give me the freedom to make my own plan on expenditure and save some for the future. We should plan our budget as
such
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 that we should spend on what we can afford rather than accumulating debt. In conclusion, nowadays financial
management
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 is necessary more than ever. Schools should integrate financial
management
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 into their syllabus while
parents
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 should share some responsibilities with teenagers so that they can have both theoretical and practical
knowledge
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 on how to spend fund appropriately.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • real-world applications
  • consumer culture
  • credit facilities
  • financial independence
  • practical financial literacy
  • manage finances
  • financial responsibility
  • money management
  • financial planning
  • tailored
  • accessible
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