In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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The percentage of older individuals is rising in many nations.

While

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this

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is a beneficial phenomenon, there are some drawbacks. It leads us to be in touch with them and gain their life experiences.

However

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, senior

people

Use synonyms

's lack of new technological affairs interferes with their efforts for contemporary jobs. I will illustrate several reasons for

this

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matter.

Firstly

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, the older generation has a massive accumulation of knowledge and experience. Sharing their life experiences and memories can be educational and meaningful for younger generations.

Moreover

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, older

people

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feel more relaxed and less lonely when they interact with the new generations.

For instance

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, my grandfather was a veteran

from

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show examples

the Afghan-Soviet war. Sharing his memories helped him overcome the challenges that remained from war trauma.

Secondly

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, despite the positive outcomes of an increasing number of older

people

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, there are numerous adverse effects. Globalization and advancements in technology make it difficult for older generations to follow new

technologies

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Furthermore

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, they struggle to find employment

due to

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their impediments with current

technologies

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For example

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, computer science is a trending job among adolescents for their future occupation.

However

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, an older person may not even know how to use a computer properly.

Thus

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, it is a serious problem for older

people

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, who cannot sustain their ability to follow technological advancements . Their inefficiencies are unfavourable to both themselves and society. To combat

this

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issue, the government plays a vital role. An institute that teaches older

people

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about new

technologies

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is needed and should be implemented by the government. In conclusion,

although

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expanding the proportion of older individuals can contribute to spreading knowledge and experience that benefits young

people

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, their difficulties in acquiring and keeping up with new technological developments can hinder their ability to secure jobs. I would recommend the construction of institutes dedicated to helping senior citizens with new

technologies

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This

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initiative could be successfully executed by the government.

Submitted by Yasar Khan on Sat Jun 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to enhance the transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence. Using cohesive devices like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'In conclusion' is good, but consider adding more variety in your transitions and linking phrases.

task achievement

Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Ensure that each point is fully elaborated and explore multiple dimensions of the argument. For example, provide more examples and dive deeper into the implications of the aging population.

general

There are minor language inaccuracies. Paying attention to subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are grammatically correct will raise your score. Also, some sentences could benefit from rephrasing for clarity.

task achievement

You have identified several key advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, and you provided relevant examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

in some countries the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people soy thol industrial growth is necessory to solve poverty, but some other people orgue that industrial growth is causing environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion