IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

These days, more and more people are goiung to other countries for significant period of time, either to find job or to study. there are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.

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Nowadays, the number of people moving abroad for education or
work
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 purposes has increased dramatically.
This
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 trend has helped many
individuals
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 grow, but it
also
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 comes with significant challenges.
While
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 there are some drawbacks, I believe the benefits far outweigh them. Let me explain
this
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further
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. First and foremost, moving to a different country helps
individuals
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 become more mature and independent. Many young people who move abroad for studies are financially dependent on their parents and often share a home with them.
However
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, when they move to a foreign country, they must take care of their daily tasks and manage their own finances.
Additionally
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, they meet people from diverse cultures and backgrounds, which helps them become more open-minded and adaptable. These new experiences are valuable for personal growth.
Furthermore
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, moving abroad for
work
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 offers
individuals
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 the opportunity to gain valuable experience.
For example
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, if someone moves to a developed country like the United States, they may be able to
work
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 at prestigious companies like Amazon or Tesla, gaining exposure to new technologies and earning a competitive income.
On the other hand
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, immigrants often face challenges
such
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 as homesickness, depression, or anxiety, as they may feel isolated from their families. In some countries, they may even experience racism or discrimination, making it difficult for them to integrate into
the
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apply
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society. In conclusion, moving abroad for education or
work
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 can lead to significant personal growth.
While
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 it can be challenging at times,
such
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 as when dealing with homesickness or discrimination,
individuals
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 can overcome these obstacles through better communication and by building new friendships.
Overall
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, the experiences gained are invaluable for both professional and personal development.

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task achievement
While your introduction clearly states your position, you might consider offering a brief outline of the main points you will discuss. This would guide readers more effectively through your essay.
task achievement
Some points could be more elaborated upon. For example, you could provide specific examples of how individuals overcame challenges, which would strengthen your arguments relating to personal growth under difficulties.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of linking words and phrases is effective, making the essay flow well. However, consider varying your transition words to enhance the diversity of your language and maintain reader engagement.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, you might reiterate the main advantages and disadvantages in a slightly more summarized fashion, which can reinforce your argument for readers.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion that encapsulates your arguments well.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that reinforce your points, particularly regarding professional opportunities and personal development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • broaden one’s perspective
  • enhance personal growth
  • cognitive abilities
  • cultural understanding
  • unique experiences
  • professional and social network
  • language barriers
  • financial strain
  • culture shock
  • homesickness
  • legal and bureaucratic hurdles
  • cumbersome
  • stressful
  • expatriates
  • discrimination
  • xenophobia
  • integration
  • local community
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