IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these two aims are not compatible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the era of modernization and technical progress, some people believe that society is able to maintain a tidy
eco-system
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ecosystem
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 and provide successful economic development at the same time.
While
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 others argue that in the modern
world
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world,
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 these two goals play an inverted role. From my perspective, it is not obvious that nature suffers the development outcomes. On the one hand, the industry is a vital driving force for the country’s economy. In fact, the consequences of the factories which provide a profit often contaminate the environment.
As a result
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, the chemicals, namely exhaust fumes and carbon are released into the atmosphere polluting the air and water resources. A good illustration
for
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of
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this
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 is China where the permanent manufacturing line determines the highest air contaminating index in the world. Eventually, maintaining
Correct article usage
a
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clear ecology and harmful
producing
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production
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 seem to be delusory simultaneously.
On the other hand
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, despite the destructive effect on the industry, it is still possible to preserve a significantly high level of nature without damaging the nation’s economic rate. Contemporary technologies may provide factories with eco-friendly materials and recycling
technics
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techniques
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.
Likewise
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, reusing water, plastic
as well
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as
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and
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the
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apply
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paper can minimize
a
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apply
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harmful
effect
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effects
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 on the environment.
For example
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, Germany has started to use
the
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apply
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innovative
way
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ways
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for
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of
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the
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apply
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reusing and recycling
wastes
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waste
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 investing money in
the
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apply
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founding special companies.
Hence
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, if each country provides
eco-friendly
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an eco-friendly
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 policy, the range of pollution will be reduced all over the world.
In addition
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, adapting the manufacturing process to nature’s needs will give employment to the people who in the long-term perspective will provide
economical
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economic
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 prosperity. In conclusion, focusing on society’s wealth cannot exist
with
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without
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 the protection of the environment since releasing toxic materials into the atmosphere.
Nevertheless
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, implementation
the
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of the
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 contemporary involvements will ensure the chance to minimize the range of pollution.

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task response
The essay shows adequate understanding of the task and discusses both views. However, it would benefit from a more balanced view and a clear stance.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally coherent, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for the discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • environmental sustainability
  • policies
  • technology
  • commitment
  • green technology
  • renewable energy sources
  • carbon emissions
  • pollution
  • industrial development
  • production
  • consumption
  • depletion of natural resources
  • loss of biodiversity
  • unsustainable
  • consumption patterns
  • sustainable development
  • technological innovation
  • global cooperation
  • circular economy
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