IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from knowledge or experience,

#people #history #school #subjects #world #science #technology
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there has been a matter of
debat
Correct your spelling
debate
debit
 regarding the
importance
Use synonyms
 of school
subjects
Use synonyms
 nowadays . Some people think that subject like
history
Use synonyms
 weigh more
importance
Use synonyms
, whereas, other people think that
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 are vital
subjects
Use synonyms
 in
todays
Correct your spelling
today's
' school curriculum. In my opinion, none of the
subjects
Use synonyms
 carries more
inportance
Correct your spelling
importance
 , all
subjects
Use synonyms
 are equally important and benefit the students in different ways. On the one hand, by studying the
history
Use synonyms
 will enhance the new generations to know about our
ancistors
Correct your spelling
ancestors
, their
life
Use synonyms
 during that time and what were the hurdles they faced in order to achieve freedom ,that we enjoy at present.Eventually,
s
Add an article
a
show examples
ubject like
history
Use synonyms
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
f
Add an article
a
the
show examples
eeling of patriotism among students which would be benefited for them for their future
life
Use synonyms
.To be in detail, in
todays
Correct your spelling
today's
' modern
world
Use synonyms
,
no body
Correct your spelling
nobody
show examples
 has the time to explain about the country's revolution and
history
Use synonyms
 to their young buds,
hence
Linking Words
 , children will gain knowledge about the past
life
Use synonyms
 only from the school
subjects
Use synonyms
 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as per the counterparts of the
debat
Correct your spelling
debit
debate
 recent curriculum is giving more
importance
Use synonyms
 to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
. In the modern technological
world
Use synonyms
, these both
subjects
Use synonyms
 have great
importance
Use synonyms
 . Our day
today
Correct your spelling
to day
show examples
life
Use synonyms
is totally depend
Change the verb form
totally depends
show examples
 on
technology
Use synonyms
 and we can not imagine a day
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 now.
For instance
Linking Words
, every nook and corner of the
world
Use synonyms
 run by technological gadgets like mobile phone , computer , television and even by robots.It is
necessory
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for the
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
 to know about
science
Use synonyms
 and technological advancements.
Thus
Linking Words
 ,
science
Use synonyms
 and
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a great
palce
Correct your spelling
place
 in
todays
Correct your spelling
today's
, educational system. In conclusion, as per the explanation , not one subject is important than others.All
subjects
Use synonyms
 like
history
Use synonyms
 ,
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 are equally important for the children to learn.
As a result
Linking Words
 , students will acquire knowledge about different aspects
about
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
 the
world
Use synonyms
 , which will provide an opportunity for them to choose their future profession according
Add the preposition
to
show examples
their interest.
Submitted by ansachacko on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: