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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#leisure #activity #people #effects #popularity #individuals #society
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Modernization is on its pace. Everyone is indulged to earn fat remuneration to fit best into the
society
Use synonyms
. Whilst some school of thought favour shopping as a considerable time off activity keeping aside its pros and cons. I will weigh up its both aspects, highlighting its prominence along with consequences in the forthcoming sections.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Its popularity arises with the burgeon of social media. Advertisements attract proponents by presenting multiple offers.
Nevertheless
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 of their budget, they try to grab the deal at the earliest.
Moreover
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, Peers show off a lot to stand above all in the
society
Use synonyms
consequently
Linking Words
 boosting everyone around to follow the same road map.
For instance
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, As soon as the latest iPhone is introduced into the market, individuals prefer advance bookings to be a rookie.
Furthermore
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, the aforementioned reasons have severe consequences. People think out of their pockets to match the status of
society
Use synonyms
,
hence
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 landing into debt.
This
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 leisure activity has skyrocketed unnecessary competition
into
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Though one can grab stuff from cheap stores as well
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
expensive brands like MK, Parada is another way to present
your
Replace the word
you're
you are
show examples
 earning to
society
Use synonyms
 and grabbing attention. To cap it all, Shopping is an adequate task and is a pleasure if it is done within your own budget and for extreme necessity. Buying unnecessary and brandish commodities for showing off to
society
Use synonyms
 might become a nightmare financially.
Submitted by kaurharpreet23 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activity
  • consumer culture
  • emotional satisfaction
  • consumerism
  • advertising influence
  • online shopping platforms
  • sense of pleasure
  • social interaction
  • boost the economy
  • compulsive shopping
  • materialism
  • environmental degradation
  • unsustainable demand
  • social inequalities
  • status through possessions
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