IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems might this difference cause? How might these problems be reduced?

#rise #country #benefit #cities #areas #difference
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Nowadays, many countries are living an improve in
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 levels of livelihood, bringing richness and higher welfare for the
people
 living in the major big
cities
.
However
,
this phenomena
Change the determiner
this phenomenon
these phenomena
show examples
 is generally concentrated for big
centres
, enlarging the already present gap between
cities
 and rural
areas
. In
this
 essay I am going to discuss the possible consequences that
this
 situation can create, spending the
second
 part of the essay outlining solutions to reduce
this
 issue. At
national
Add an article
the national
a national
show examples
 level, the very
first
 issue resulting from the rise in
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 standard is the depopulation process that
people
 living in rural
areas
 do in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
to
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
cities
. Generally, big
cities
 can provide more
services
 than remote
areas
 and improve the aspectatives for a better life
to
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
 families. Living far from the major
cities
 represent
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 job opportunities, lower education and, in general terms, worse levels of livelihood for a family. An example, the
improve
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
 in welfare in China had a big impact on
cities
 like Pechin and Shanghai where the main industries are present.
This
 general improvement pushed
people
 from the rural east to
move
 toward the big
centres
 depopulating the whole eastern part of the country and overpopulating the western
cities
. To prevent
this
 scenario a possible solution to adopt may consist in providing more
services
 to rural
areas
. By setting
services
such
 as hospitals, schools or factories in the nearby,
people
 living far from the main industrial
centres
 won't have to
move
allowing
Change the verb form
to allow
show examples
 them to stay where they are.
For instance
, some Italian forward-looking
enterpreuners
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
 like Olivetti
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 decided to settle them factories nearby the villages in a way that
people
 living there wouldn't have to
move
 too far to reach them. In conclusion, the general
improve
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
 in
livelihood
Add an article
the livelihood
show examples
 of a country may
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
 the depopulation of rural
centres
 forcing
people
 to
move
 from their villages to reach the big
cities
. A possible action to adopt to reduce the gap between rural
areas
 and industrial
centres
 may be through the settlements of more
services
 helping
people
 not to
move
 from their villages.
Submitted by Phil Abendrot on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • income gap
  • investment
  • development
  • poverty
  • unemployment rates
  • educational and healthcare disparities
  • migration
  • strain on resources
  • overpopulation
  • housing shortages
  • pollution
  • developmental imbalance
  • food security
  • agricultural productivity
  • sustainability
  • infrastructure
  • rural healthcare and education
  • sustainable agricultural practices
  • technology
  • training
  • markets
  • rural tourism
  • non-agricultural income
  • regional development plan
  • social cohesion
  • equitable growth
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