Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both side and then give your opinion

#people #education #system #focus #students #employment #functions #side

The educational agenda is an important factor for the learner's future ,

thus

some people believe that the system should mainly prepare the pupils for employment .

However

, others consider that there are other essential skills which should be taught in schools . In my opinion , the educational system should prepare the young generation for

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

adult life throughout classes designed to teach life skills .

This

essay will analyse both views and reach

Change the article

show examples

conclusion . On the one hand , critics think that children would not have the chance to develop their creative ideas towards a future successful business since they would learn only about employment . Sadly , they would lose confidence to experience

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

financial freedom since they grow up with the belief that they have to work for someone else . In a recent survey carried out by the London University , the participants expressed their disappointment regarding the education system ,

hence

the lack of information regarding the economical and business sector .

Therefore

, children should be guided by their tutors to explore the area that they are interested in.

On the other hand

, supporters consider that learning centres should

also

cover subjects

such

as arts or sports for

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

young children since some of them would be more attracted by the practical side .

This

would help them increase their level of concentration and improve their self-esteem . The period of time that a young person is aware of a subject depends on their interest in the discussed area .

For instance

, most of the parents would prefer to enrol their offsprings in a form of education where they could attend sports which is

also

beneficial for health . In conclusion ,

although

the young generation would be prepared for employment since the early years I believe ,

that is

more important for them to learn other subjects which could positively impact their adult life .

Submitted by geaninacazan on Sun Feb 07 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage.
Nowadays, many tasks were done by hand before, instead, people are currently using electrical gadgets for the job to be finished.Personally, I believe that machines can simplify our lives, however, appliances are more expensive to use.
5
band
in some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantagges and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Some people with various cultural backgrounds tell children that they are capable of doing anything in the world if they try hard. This mindset of grown people affects the way children see life and also behave in different circumstances. There are several pros and cons for this mindset which I'm going to discuss in this paper.
4
band
Some university students want to learn about their subjects in addition to main subiects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attentions to studying for qualitications. Discuss both these views and giving your opinion.
Some of the university students have planed to get acquire knowledge to other
5
band
In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before.
Nobody can deny the growing economic progress in both developing and developed nations thanks to globalization and the advent of high technology. In recent years, while people living in developing countries are more content with their life than those in the past, people residing in developed countries cope with the contrary phenomenon. Basically, there’re many reasons for this phenomenon and we will discuss the issue here.
5.5
band
International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?
While it is true that gobal tourism has given birth to various benefits and provided gains for different localities, there is a growing concern of the negative impact of this trend on residents and the ecology of such localities. I believe that the good associated with international tourism overshadows the ills ascribed to it.

Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both side and then give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage.

in some cultures children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantagges and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some university students want to learn about their subjects in addition to main subiects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attentions to studying for qualitications. Discuss both these views and giving your opinion.

In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before.

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?