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Band 7.5

Successful sportsmen can earn a great deal more than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#sportsmen #people #professions
Famous
athletes
 can gain higher payment than other important professions in society when they become superstars. It is argued by some
people
 that it is not necessary to have someone earning a huge amount of money when there are a lot of
people
 who do not have enough food to eat.
However
, others think it is extremely fair because sportsmen need to spend time to develop their skills to achieve good results. From my point of view, sportsmen are able to bring entertainment and happiness to peoples’ lives, but it is not enough to justify their huge salaries. On the one hand,
athletes
 can represent the country during competitions and make all the
people
 in the nations proud when they win trophies and medals.
Also
, they can motivate
people
 to practice sports more often and learn the proper diet, discipline and teamwork to team them good behaviours that can be used on a daily basis. From my own experience, sports can positively influence young
people
 to practice physical activities to learn how to perform well under pressure and maintain a good physical appearance.
On the other hand
, some
people
 think that it is fully wrong
athletes
 earn a huge amount of money.
Firstly
, other important professionals spend more time studying and working than sportspeople.
For instance
, scientists can invent new medicines, doctors can save peoples’ lives and engineers create new technology to benefit society. For all of
this
, they could create different ways to recognize other professions as same as they do with professionals
athletes
. To summarize, some
people
 suggest that some careers should deserve more money than successful
athletes
. Others think it is fair for them while sportsmen usually spend long term preparing for competitions to succeded. I feel that it is unfair of other professions and with
people
 who do not have anything to eat during the day.
Submitted by Mailson on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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