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Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in the school. do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #lessons #money #school
Money management is one of the crucial areas, that will help children with their financials in their adult life. Many people think that
this
 topic should be included in
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 curriculum
along with
 regular academic studies. We completely agree with the
aforesaid
Correct word choice
aforementioned
show examples
 statement and we will share a few pointers to support
in
Correct pronoun usage
this in
show examples
 the below essay.
To begin
 with, the prime motive of the majority of the students is to be successful in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 and attain a well-paid job or start their own business.
However
, the practical world demands skills to manage the salary or revenue and increase investments. Nowadays, with the growing corporate culture and privatisation, job security is becoming a myth.
Hence
, an individual should learn the art of making money through investments and
create
Wrong verb form
creating
show examples
 passive income. Passive income defines the extra income an individual receives for which he should not perform any extra physical task on a regular basis.
Additionally
, educational institutes will play a vital role in developing the foundation for the students. It will help them to understand how the investment works in the real world and how we can make our money work for us. As per the latest report published by the Ministry of Banking and Finances, an increasing number of personal loan applications are
evident
Replace the word
evidence
show examples
 of growing financial requirements and
also
 that the youngsters are not equipped with the knowledge required to manage these matters.
Therefore
, introducing
this
 at the primary stage will be highly beneficial to embark
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 change in the new generation.
To conclude
, financial management is the most important area that should be included in
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 curriculum to make the students future-ready.
Submitted by cjsvig on

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Content
Well-developed essay with a clear argument in favor of including money management in school curriculum. Good use of examples to support the points made.
Structure
Essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs presenting ideas coherently, and a strong conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
Content
Clear and concise argument in support of teaching money management in schools.
Structure
Logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • savings and investment
  • financial responsibility
  • school curriculum
  • mathematics integration
  • social studies
  • debt prevention
  • credit score
  • wise financial decisions
  • parental responsibility
  • structured education
  • real-world experiences
  • internships
  • personal finance
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