IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the past few years, agriculture has got new technologies to enhance production still
people
Use synonyms
 are struggling to get
food
Use synonyms
 around the world. Poverty and distribution are the main reason for the problem.
However
Linking Words
, governments can give subsidies to foodstuff or provide financial aid to needy
people
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if we look at the reason
people
Use synonyms
 are still not getting bread and butter on their dining table. Poverty and distribution of
food
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 are the main causes of
this
Linking Words
 trouble.
For instance
Linking Words
, big corporations and rich
people
Use synonyms
 buy all the raw
food
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 and store them into the big warehouses. So for their business to make more profit, they are only sending the little number of
products
Use synonyms
 out in the market. when the demand increase and price of their
food
Use synonyms
 item go up. In
this
Linking Words
 case, middlemen's make more money while common
people
Use synonyms
 are suffering without proper feed. Because, when the price rises, it is hard to afford
food
Use synonyms
 for common men or women.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, governments can play a vital role to overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem,they can give subsidies to
food
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 can make a strict law on the storage of
food
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the government of India buy crops from farmers and distribute to poor
people
Use synonyms
 citizens every month.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are strict laws about the storage of crops, no one can do storage more than certain limit or guidelines. To the sum up, after all the advancement into the agriculture sector and the rise into the production. There are some hungry
people
Use synonyms
 everywhere around the world. The only way to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem is the government can help the community to get
food
Use synonyms
 by giving financial aid.
Submitted by harrynz94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: