IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies today. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#talent #societies #method #people #entertainment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, ever more often television programmes give the chance to
people
Use synonyms
 to
show
Use synonyms
 their talents. Some argue
that is
Linking Words
 a good way to give relevance to who,
otherwise
Linking Words
, won't have other chance to
show
Use synonyms
 themselves, while others think that are just shown to entertain. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss why I think talent shows are not just amusing programs but,
also
Linking Words
, real chances for talented
people
Use synonyms
 to
show
Use synonyms
 their skills. A
first
Linking Words
 aspect, that
tv
Use synonyms
 shows give to talented
people
Use synonyms
, is visibility. Having visibility and
thus
Linking Words
 a public at whom showing your proficiency or talents is the main positive aspect of talent shows. Most of the time,
people
Use synonyms
 having great voices or are excellent dancer have not other ways to demonstrate their abilities. At best, they can perform in concerts or in theatres where the stalls are much less than the audience watching
tv
Use synonyms
. The well-known singer Adele is one of the many talented singers who got famous thanks to talent shows; demonstrating her abilities in singing. A
second
Linking Words
 aspect, which sometimes is not considered, is the fact that these artists pass through a selection process that chooses who is better based on their competence. Entertainment is a part of the
show
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 most of the participants have real abilities that have to be judged by experts. The
tv
Use synonyms
 program known as "The Voice" is an example of how singers are judged not on their appearance, but truly on their skills. In conclusion, I think that
tv
Use synonyms
 programs where talented
people
Use synonyms
 have the chance to
show
Use synonyms
 themselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 are not just entertainment but real opportunities to have some space to
show
Use synonyms
 what skills a person really has, aspiring to become recognised for his or her talents.
Submitted by Phil Abendrot on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: