More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #countries #effects

Now-a-days

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

many young

kids

are facing

obesity

and it is increasing alarmingly in all the grown countries. It is a major concern across the globe.

This

essay elaborates

main

Add an article

the main

show examples

causes of overweighting of

kids

and

also

a few major effects with obese.

First

and foremost, why many children are suffering from fatness? One of the main causes of

obesity

is junk

food

and no physical activity. In

this

context, countless young

kids

are not eating proper hygienic

food

as in developed countries both the parents are working and busy with their office commitments, they could not spend time to cook healthy

food

for their

kids

. Children are not allocating spare time to exercising

moreover

they are investing maximum duration on television, laptops and video games etc.

For Instance

, more young people are attracted to fast foods like pizza, burgers as well as soft drinks that

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to more

obesity

Secondly

, if

juvenile

Add an article

the juvenile

a juvenile

show examples

is suffering from overweight

then

it has severe effects as well. Mainly, many youngsters are suffering from diabetics and

heart

attack.

In Contrast

to adults,

grown up

Add a hyphen

grown-up

show examples

kids

are facing

heart

attack in young age because of unhealthy

food

and diabetics count in

kids

also

growing rapidly

round

Correct your spelling

around

show examples

the world. It is the major concern in

younger

Add an article

the younger

show examples

generation.

For Example

, recently one college student is suffering from excess overweight from childhood

Add the comma(s)

, as a result,

show examples

as a result

he got

heart

stroke in young age and is

incritical

Correct your spelling

in critical

critical

situation. To sum up, one of the major causes that many

obesity

kids

are facing

from

Verify preposition usage

apply

show examples

heart

stroke etc across the nation. To overcome

this

concern, parents need to play

the

Change the article

show examples

significant role in their children healthy life and younger generation makes

nation

Add an article

the nation

show examples

strong.

Submitted by Kishor on Wed Feb 10 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

279 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
processed foods
fast food culture
screen time
metabolic disorders
healthcare expenditure
lifestyle diseases
preventative strategies
nutritional education
public health policy
body mass index (BMI)
emotional well-being
stigmatization
exercise regimen
eating habits
junk food
socioeconomic factors
health literacy

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Tourism is causing environmental problems all around the world. What are the main causes of this? What are some solutions?

In many workplaces, online communication is becoming more commonplace than face-to-face meetings, and this is a positive development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Write a letter to a manager whose company is constructing their new office next to your apartment. - Introduce yourself - Describe problems you are facing because of this - Suggest solutions

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents . Do you agree or disagree ?

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.