Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #videos #effect

It is commonly believed that playing video

games

can have a harmful effect on

people

, and children

in particular

, while others think that it can be used as an entertaining and educational tool. In my opinion, the disadvantages of a computer game outweigh its disadvantage. Advocates of the benefits of

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

video

games

claim that they stimulate the development of

people

. To

won

Change the form of the verb

win

show examples

these

games

childern

Correct your spelling

children

have to score more points or reach higher levels while they are competing with their friends.

This

would undoubtedly enhance their intellectual skills,

such

as logic thinking, creativity, as well as concentration and problem solving, all of which considered useful skills for them. It seems that computer

games

such

as Fortnite and Fifa teach

childerns

Correct your spelling

children

to think strategically with their teammates by choosing the ultimate plan to obtain frequent rewards from other teams, and

therefore

they are enjoying their time while they are learning to effectively use their mind and imagination.

On the other hand

, it has significantly contributed to many health problems. There

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

been many academic studies that bolstered the relationship between console and obesity. When

people

spend more hours in

palying

Correct your spelling

playing

these

games

, they are more likely to eat unhealthy food,

such

as sweets and fast food because they do not have time to cook and they are addicted to competing and winning the game. Eye fatigue is

anthor

Correct your spelling

another

health issue because of the harmful beams that come from the TV, thereby

this

problem becomes more dangerous when it is combined with

severe

Add an article

a severe

show examples

headache. In

this

sense

Add a comma

,sense

show examples

the drawbacks

Change the verb form

are

show examples

far worse than benefits. To sum up,

although

video

games

may help to improve mental abilities, they may have a dreadful impact on

people

's health

such

as obese and eye problems.

Hence

, it clear that

this

negative side of these

games

could wipe their positive side.

Submitted by khadega.amer09 on Wed Feb 10 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job.

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents, who are choosing to educate children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

A university education should be free for all students. To what extent do you agree?

News stories on TV and newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?