IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to set up unpaid community work, instead of just being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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Every
society
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 needs a peaceful environment. Few
people
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 consider that the offender involves in the small number of
crimes
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 should be chosen for the
Use synonyms
society
Replace the word
social
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 welfare jobs. I do
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
 some extent with the
above written
Add a hyphen
above-written
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 statement, while
other
Replace the word
others
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 should be put behind
bar
Add an article
the bar
show examples
. The Culprit
people
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 involved in the
crimes
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 of theft or small activities should be taken into cleaning streets, planting trees, and charity work. By adopting
such
Linking Words
 exercise offenders feel ashamed and will not think again to do
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
. In England, small
crime
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people
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 involved in prisons are encouraged and educate to do right things and spent rest of life free of
crime
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. Some argue that the criminals indulge
himself
Change the pronoun
themselves
show examples
 into suspicious activities after these educated programmed.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, brutal
people
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involve
Change the form of the verb
involved
show examples
 in the big offences like rape, murder or abduction and so on must be put into behind the bar. They have no right to ruin others life,
also
Linking Words
 set a symbolic example for others who
thinks
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think
show examples
 to do
such
Linking Words
crimes
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. In many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 intense punishment for
such
Linking Words
 little
crimes
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.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is only one way to stop offender to commit sin but without government
involvement
Add a comma
,involvement
show examples
 it is not possible. Authority should pass strict acts for these big violation. To make the
society
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 free of
crime
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 and criminal person, it is very essential to take
such
Linking Words
 steps that involve fear and punishment to all big and small offenders.
Society
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 betterment programs should be performed by
Add an article
a law
show examples
law breaker
Correct your spelling
lawbreaker
show examples
 that will encourage to do
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 things in their future. While the
series
Verify preposition usage
ofseries
show examples
 criminals should keep behind jail bars.in my opinion, we can make our
society
Use synonyms
 full educated and give them complete awareness about
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
a crime
show examples
 which will be helpful in establishing peace.
Submitted by Urooj Hayat on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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