IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In modern days, saving
money
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial skill for all individuals if they want to be successful in the
future
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint, since everyone needs to prepare
money
Use synonyms
 for emergency cases and have a great financial habit.
To begin
Linking Words
 with. there are two reasons why it is extremely vital for
people
Use synonyms
, including young generations, to save
money
Use synonyms
 for their
future
Use synonyms
. First of all, saving
money
Use synonyms
 provides financial security, helping individuals to cover unexpected expenses or emergencies.
For instance
Linking Words
, when older have cancer, they still have a large budget in order to pay hospital costs and buy some drugs.
However
Linking Words
, without that
money
Use synonyms
, they may face death or not have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to stay in the hospital.
Secondly
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 will have good financial habits when they know how to keep the
money
Use synonyms
 for their
future
Use synonyms
. They might to have saving
money
Use synonyms
 and planning skills which are essential skills if they want to be successful in the financial markets.
In addition
Linking Words
, the main reason I think saving
money
Use synonyms
 is important for every
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 is that early savings contribute to a more comfortable retirement. When they are older, they will face a lot of problems
such
Linking Words
 as sickness, lack of
money
Use synonyms
, etc.
Therefore
Linking Words
, keeping
money
Use synonyms
 will help them reduce the need to rely on state pensions or financial support from family. In conclusion, meanwhile, some young adults believe saving
money
Use synonyms
 is not essential. In my opinion, I still agree with that statement because there are numerous benefits for all individuals if
people
Use synonyms
 know they should priority to save their
money
Use synonyms
 for the
future
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You should provide clearer and more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, give more real-life scenarios or data that back up your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your ideas flow smoothly from one paragraph to the next. Use more transitional phrases to improve the coherence of your essay.
general
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. This will enhance the overall clarity and comprehensibility of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You have presented comprehensive ideas supporting your viewpoint. Your points are logical and relevant to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
Look at other essays: