Some people say that education system is the only critical factor to development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, the ratio of an employee who suffers from different health-related issues is increasing faster than ever, and the general health of working-class society is deteriorating.
Such
disasters have stemmed from work pressure, lack of physical training and dependency on machines to do human's work. Exercises, outdoor activities and encouragement by the employer and the government to do workout and
finally
, a balanced diet is a solution to
this
problem. One of the primary reasons for the working community not to do enough or any task is the abysmal working condition where working life is extremely competitive and full of anxiety. Employers have constant deadlines, tough targets, and to achieve them,
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee

The noun phrase employee seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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has to work for long hours each day which drain their stamina. As a consequence,
trader
Add an article
the trader
a trader

The noun phrase trader seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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does not want to do any examination even when they are at home.
In addition
, dependency on technology has fueled up the condition. Due to technological advancements, folk have exchanged the available time for activity with browsing the internet, watching television and checking their accounts on social media websites. They
also
prefer to drive than to walk, use washing machines than to clean their clothes manually and use machines to do most of their works, which in turn, has negative impacts on their life and health. The physical activity is a must to remain fit and those peasants have to stop leading a sedentary lifestyle and start moving. The government can facilitate outdoor activities so that people get out and take part in those activities after service hours. Employers have to realise that healthy employees mean better productivity and should arrange
exercise
facilities at the office premises. They can do so by encouraging their employees to do some
exercise
at a certain time of the day during office hours.
Finally
, the peasant have to follow a balanced diet to achieve a better result and office can help them with that
also
. In conclusion,
exercise
is vital to our health, productivity and life. In consequence, workers, authorities, employers, and individuals, should collaborate to make everyone's lifestyle healthier by adding more time for
exercise
and help follow a balanced diet.
Submitted by rupinderbrar800 on

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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