It is too expensive to look after and repair old building .Tho money should spend on building new modern buildings instead .To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#repair #tho #money #buildings

People argue that money should be spent on constructing modern

buildings

instead

of taking care of and mending old

buildings

since it is not economical. I completely disagree with

this

opinion because of the sustainability and tourism revenue. The first reason for keeping the old

buildings

and rather fixing them than building the new ones is

due to

the environmental impacts. Constructing new

buildings

requires a high need for new materials;

however

, renovating old ones can be more environmentally friendly compared to new constructions, in

this

way, it helps to reduce the manufacture of building materials that contribute significantly to global warming.

According to

many statistics, the construction industry accounts for a large proportion of carbon emissions that are really harmful to the living environment. Limiting the number of new building constructions can reduce the detrimental impacts on our environment. Another key reason is looking after the old

buildings

can help to increase the revenue of a city's tourism.

This

is because older

buildings

often feature unique architectural styles and craftsmanship that may be lost with modern constructions. Restored old

buildings

can attract tourists, providing economic benefits that can outweigh the initial restoration costs.

For example

, in an ancient city called Hoi An in Vietnam, a lot of tourists are attracted by a wide range of ancient houses along the riverbank with a scenic view.

This

offers the city a great amount of revenue annually just because of the old building restorations. In conclusion,

while

initial restoration costs cannot be economical, the long-term effects of fixing the old

buildings

are of more significance than building new

buildings

since it can help to reduce environmental impacts

as well as

attract more tourists.

Submitted by kelsey.aston.aie on Fri Aug 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

While the introduction and conclusion are clear and present, you could further enhance the logical structure by ensuring smoother transitions between points and paragraphs.

task achievement

Some points in the essay could benefit from additional elaboration to further strengthen the task achievement. Consider expanding on ideas to provide a deeper discussion.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task and addresses the key points effectively.

coherence cohesion

Both the introduction and conclusion are clearly articulated and provide a solid framework for the essay.

task achievement

Examples used in the essay, such as the reference to Hoi An, Vietnam, are relevant and help illustrate the points being made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

historical significance
cultural heritage
renovation
restoration
architectural value
environmentally friendly
community identity
cost efficiency
sustainable development
unique character
sense of place
long-term maintenance
modern construction
initial costs
economic benefits

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