Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smart phone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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It will not astonish me if someone compares a
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone

The word smart phone seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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to an organ of our body. When was the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

you spend a day without a phone? I am sure one will have to rattle their brains to answer
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

question. There are various research reports that suggest in recent times humans
spends
Change the verb form
spend

The verb spends does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a
signficant
Correct your spelling
significant

The word signficant is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

portion of their
lesuire
Correct your spelling
leisure

The word lesuire is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

device. But the real question to answer is whether the same is proving out to be beneficial for their
delveopment
Correct your spelling
development

The word delveopment is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

? The utmost important change which it has bought in our life is easy of connectivity. It not only allows us to be updated with the latest news
accross
Correct your spelling
across

The word accross is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

the world
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

enables us to be in touch with our loved ones.
Further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it has
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

helped in reducing
work load
Correct your spelling
workload

The word work load seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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and unnecessary travel
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. One can now complete all their banking and portfolio management related activities right from the comfort of their homes with
mere
Add an article
the mere

The noun phrase mere use seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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use of their fingers.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
ever
Correct your spelling
every

The word ever doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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coin has two sides. Many of us have become
lathargic
Correct your spelling
lethargic

The word lathargic is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

and prefer to spend more
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at home than travel or move out. Relatives tend to
Replace the word
lose

The word loose may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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loose
Correct your spelling
lose

The word loose doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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personal touch since they rely on messages rather than meeting in person.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people are exposed to harmful rays from batteries and display screens which may damage the eye permanently. Recent studies suggest that children spend a critical amount of their
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
Verify preposition usage
apply

It appears that the preposition in may be unnecessary in this context. Consider removing it.

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playing games on their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'

It appears that the word parents should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones

The word smart phones seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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rather than outdoor sports. In my opinion, the benefits of using a
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone

The word smart phone seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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far exceed the negatives. It is a personal choice for people of how effectively they utilize
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

device which could very well be called the smartest machine invented by humans.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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