Teenagers should never be put in prison with adults no matter how serious their crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#teenagers #prison #adults #matter #crime

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Part of the population believes that children who commit serious crimes should be punished severely and, in some cases, should even share jail with

adult

Use synonyms

prisoners,

while

Linking Words

others defend that, independently of how serious the crime was, children should never be put in prison with

adults

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both perspectives and express an opinion in the

last

Linking Words

paragraph. On the one hand,

Use synonyms

adult's

Change noun form

adult

show examples

prisons are considered extremely rigorous and part of the

teenagers

Use synonyms

who are engaged in criminal activities are afraid of being put in

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the adult's

show examples

adult's

Change noun form

adult

show examples

prisonal system.

Therefore

Linking Words

, people who support the idea of not separating young people from

adults

Use synonyms

claim that

this

Linking Words

measure can be used as an efficient message to prevent

youngsters

Use synonyms

from taking their chances accepting and participating in criminal activities.

For instance

Linking Words

, a study published

last

Linking Words

year, in Denmark, showed that countries

who

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

do not separate

youngs

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

from

adults

Use synonyms

in their

prisonal

Correct your spelling

personal

prison

systems tend to have

less

Fix the agreement mistake

a lower

show examples

percentage of teens committing crimes in comparison to countries where

teenagers

Use synonyms

had

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

their own

prisonal

Correct your spelling

personal

prison

system.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, it is important to comment that studies in psychology

has

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have

show examples

already proven that someone can be permanently influenced by their peers,

therefore

Linking Words

, putting

youngsters

Use synonyms

adult's

Change noun form

adult

show examples

prisons, sharing the same routine and activities can affect their chances

to start

Change preposition

of starting

show examples

a regular life far from the criminality afterwards. To illustrate that situation, in India, where

teenagers

Use synonyms

share prison with

adults

Use synonyms

, sixty-three per cent of former

Use synonyms

youngsters

Fix the agreement mistake

youngster

show examples

prisoners are recruited

Change preposition

show examples

some criminal organization.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon can be explained because teens are persuaded and taught to

maitain

Correct your spelling

maintain

their lives not respecting the rules and the law.

To conclude

Linking Words

althought

Correct your spelling

although

deciding what to do with

youngsters

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regarding penalties and punishments is a delicate matter, I tend to believe that the benefits of letting

teenagers

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share a prison with

adults

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pale in comparison to the drawbacks because it might prevent them

to improve

Change preposition

from improving

show examples

their behaviour and start a new life after the jail period.

Submitted by andreluizrc on Thu Feb 11 2021

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Grammar

Try to avoid minor grammatical errors such as incorrect use of plural forms (youngs) or punctuation issues (e.g., missing commas).

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a range of linking phrases to show the connection between your points (consequently, furthermore, however, etc.).

Task Achievement

Make sure to accurately corroborate your points with precise examples. Some could be slightly more detailed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Teenagers should never be put in prison with adults no matter how serious their crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be done about this problem?

Today, an increasing number of younger individuals have to compete with older generations for the same positions. What challenges arise from this situation? What solutions would you propose?

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Some people believe that teaching children at home is the best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.